I'm feeling a bit disconnected.
I'm feeling disconnected because I deactivated my facebook profile. I'm not complaining. I don't know how you all manage it, but for me, facebook is a major time-sucker. "Just checking" always turned into at least 15-20 minutes of browsing. And not just 15-20 minutes a day, but 15-20 minutes several times a day. Considering how little free time I have these days, when re-evaluating how to manage my time better, it was obvious that my beloved FB had to go. All in all I'm on the computer FAR less these days, and that also means I'm missing out on all the updates from my friends. I miss the days when the only way we knew what was going on with our friends was to pick up the phone or get together.
I'm feeling disconnected because I have to spend so much time at home. It's a mixed blessing. I love staying at home and I don't even mind going days without leaving the house. I'm a homebody and I find the daily routine much less stressful if I don't have to fit in an outing. But I miss the days when it was just Claire and I and leaving the house wasn't a major production that had to be squeezed in between bottles and naps.
I'm feeling disconnected because Jeff is so busy. He's not home a lot more than normal the next few months, and when he is home, he's still so busy. The few minutes of conversation we get each day are usually about his work or the kids and are always filled with a plethora of interruptions. I miss the days when it was just Jeff and I and we had the time (and quiet) for our conversations to evolve and move past "How was your day, dear?"
I'm feeling disconnected because God hasn't been my centerpiece. He's been a lovely lamp. Glowing, warm, inviting, helpful... but on the end table. I miss the days when I was on fire.
I'm missing a lot of things. I'm not complaining, because all the things I miss can be mine. I'm blessed beyond measure but I still want more.
To my dear friends and family: I'll miss your smiling FB profiles, but I look forward to our real conversations. Let's have patience, Sam's baby days will soon be drawing to an end and our play-dates, lunches, girl's night out and other get-togethers will resume.
To my dear husband: I look forward to dates, vacation and kids sleeping over at grandma's.
To my dear Lord: I know you're still working on me.